When Kelina first came home, she was exploring everything and was very quiet. Soon she became fustrated with the language barrier and had meltdown that were hard to deal with mainly because we weren't sure what we were to do. Before long though, we learned what she needed at those times and also what would help to prevent them from even occurring. During this time, I compared it to bringing home a newborn. I just had that Mommy alert on all the time. Do you know what I mean? When you are staying prepared for something to happen, will she be hungry? is a tantrum coming? do we need to take a break...I just didn't know what the next 10 minutes would hold and it emotionally drains you.
Then one day about a week ago, Matt and I were talking and sharing how we noticed Kelina was just more relaxed than before. This also was the time that Mommy was able to feel more relaxed. And though Kelina was enjoying things more, I still wondered when we would see the huge smiles that were a part of her referral pictures. Kelina received a fitting message in her fortune cookie at the Chinese restaurant we ate at, it said "Happiness will be yours when you let those around you into your life". That is our prayer that she continues to trust us and let us into her world.
This week we have seen Kelina open up to Daddy much more. She lets him help more and she just runs over to him on a whim to give him a hug. Last night she even jumped out of bed, to give him a hug before he left the room. This is big because she hasn't wanted Daddy to help tuck her in at night. We know that God has heard your prayers for us.
And the smiles! This week we have been blessed with huge smiles. She is even posing for pictures for me!
I am in awe of this little girl. She is so brave to run to us on Gotcha Day and just continue to embrace this family as her own. It hasn't been easy, but she continues to move forward. I am astonished at the strength she has shown in facing this difficult transition, leaving all she knew and stepping out in faith into a new family, new experiences, and a new world. She continues to open up to us and show us more of who she is. She has such compassion and a nurturing spirit. "Are you okay?" being the first sentence she said as she wrapped her arms around Jie Jie who was crying.
A few days ago, I went to the basement in search of a gymnastics outfit for Kelina to wear to a birthday party. I came across some really cute outfits that I had saved for my girl when I brought her home from China; unfortunately this box was for a younger girl. It was hard to see those outfits knowing that they were too small for Kelina. I cried for those lost years that I didn't get to experience with her. I see her sleeping so soundly in bed at night and I wonder at her strength. I thank my God for holding her and giving her a peaceful sleep. How is she doing it? I am in awe of her. I was grieving the loss of years that I didn't know. She is grieving the loss of people she did know. But, it is through those people she knew that she is able to love, and grow, and be strong. It is also through the prayers that all of you have prayed over the years and the ones most recently that have made this go smoothly and be blessed by God's peace.
We are so blessed by this little one. Kelina's favorite bedtime song is a butterfly song Mommy made up. She loves butterflies and I loved snapping pictures of her the other day when she put wings on and ran outside. She is unfolding her wings and she is ready to fly...
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